Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other just as God in Messiah also forgave you. Ephesians 4:32, TLV
Nice vs. Kind. Awhile back there were these commercials for an energy/snack bar called KIND. It was a thoughtful advertisement because it practically defined the difference between nice and kind. When I read this passage, I checked out the company’s website. It turns out, the founder of KIND is a child of a Holocaust survivor, so it’s understandable he would make the distinction.
“Nice means well, but it’s not enough. Kind is different. Nice is polite, but it stays out of it. Kind is honest — it speaks up and rises to the occasion. Nice doesn’t bully, but Kind stands up to bullies. Nice is something you say, whereas Kind is something you do.” —DANIEL LUBETZKY, FOUNDER KIND SNACKS AND THE KIND FOUNDATION
Honestly, for most of my life, I had thought of nice and kind as interchangeable. That apparently had been my problem. Even though nice is pleasant, it’s very frustrating when you assume it is kindness.
I love living in the South. People are so polite, which was refreshing coming from the East Coast. However, after a few months here, my hubby and I became frustrated that the politeness — niceness — didn’t carry through to building relationships. It took a long time to find those folks who were ready to be kind enough to embrace these Yankees.
Sometimes, a nice person’s actions are based on feelings — they might crave the on-the-spot approval or validation that being nice gives them. Or they were simply brought up to be polite and nice (which isn’t a bad thing) and were reprimanded if they were rude (also not a bad thing). Nevertheless, politeness is a temporary action, not intended to go any deeper. It’s pleasant but goes no further. No other involvement.
Kind people aren’t afraid of sacrifice when the need arises. A polite greeting from a kind person can quickly turn to aid and compassion.
Did you know . . .
Did you know the Bible agrees with this? The word kindness is used in 34 passages, loving kindness 104 times! Many times, it’s used as an attribute of GOD.
And the word nice? It’s only used once. And, not in a “nice” way:
“For even your brothers—your father’s house— even they will betray you, even they will shout out after you. Have no confidence in them, even if they say nice words to you.” (Jeremiah 12:6, TLV)
Really, the difference between kindness and niceness is truth. Truth in our motivations, truth in our actions.
Just as politeness can be taught, so can kindness. But it must begin with a journey of the heart. Seek the LORD to show us whether we operate in 
niceness or kindness, or perhaps a bit of both. He will help us refine our motives if we are willing. He will help us see the needs around us and respond according to His will and purpose. We become His partners — His hands — in kindness. How great is that!
Terri, in 2 days I’ll be 82. You, my young friend (you’re young to me) have taught me something new. I, too, have used the words interchangeably. They’re both good words to describe someone, right? From this day forward, I will really think about these two words whenever I am describing someone. Probably like you, I have known hundreds of people that were nice but just how many of these were also kind. I think if we stop and really think about it, unfortunately the nice people are far more in number. And yet, it’s the kind people that stick in our memory. Thank you for this simple, but oh so meaningful lesson.
Happy early birthday, Patricia! By the way, we’re not that far apart in age, but I’ll take the “young friend” compliment. =) Once the LORD showed me that different it helped me understand relationships–my part, as well as theirs. Every time I think about this revelation, He unpacks even more insights. As my grandmother used to say, “It’s one to chew on.”
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, Patricia! God bless you!