If you are wise, you are wise to your own advantage, but if you scoff, you bear it alone. Proverbs 9:12, TLV
3 Ways to Be the Wise One in the Room. We’ve all felt it. That change in the atmosphere. We’re in a conversation, or meeting, or discussion and — snap, crackle, boom — someone scoffs or makes a snide remark.
It doesn’t matter to whom the remark is directed, the climate changes. Arguments erupt and then it becomes almost impossible to calm folks down.
Scoffing about a situation, opinion, or person will do one of two things:
- Stall a healthy, productive discussion.
- Bring attention to the differences of opinions and distract from resolving them.
Neither result is good.
When we scoff, we bring a haze of futility into a situation. Scoffing says: “What a stupid idea.” Or more personal. “You call yourself a leader?”
Unfortunately, I’ve been both the giver and receiver of scoffing. It was through living wisdom that I identified the problem—how it feels—and learned how to overcome it. At least most of the time.
Wisdom, on the other hand, brings hope for resolution, and unity. The bearer of wisdom is welcomed by those who truly seek resolution. They also welcome wisdom when a scoffer disrupts, for the bearer of wisdom understands how to bring the discussion back on point.
No question, we all want to be the wise person, not the scoffer.
So, how do we avoid acting like a scoffer?
- Show respect. No matter how much we disagree with an opinion or decision, do not disrespect the bearer. We can express why we disagree, and defend our opinion (calmly), but not at the cost of another’s wellbeing.
- Use self-control. When situations become heated and personalities come out, using self-control will keep things from getting out of hand. Because once it becomes personal, it becomes an attack.
- Forgive. Especially if we’re the recipient of the scoff. Forgive as quickly as possible for it will keep us focused on the true task at hand.
It’s easy to scoff. But it takes courage and intellect to be wise. Let’s be the wise one in the room.
Let’s think about it.
Were you ever the recipient of a scoff? How did you resolve the situation?
Were you ever the scoffer? How have you overcome that behavior?
