Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house, lest he become weary of you and loathe you. Proverbs 25:17, TLV
4 Ways to Avoid Being a Time-Sucker. Today’s verse uses the word, loathe. That’s a contentious word, don’t you think?
Can we be honest here? Have you ever encountered someone without boundaries? Someone who regularly calls, drops by, interrupts conversations, etc.? A person who sucks our time. Time stolen from family or other responsibilities.
Yes? Then we have probably suffered in silence—or to others—but few know how to graciously handle such a person.
Today’s proverb speaks of uninvited visits — frequent uninvited visits. With the invention of telephones and other technology, the chances of intrusions on/in our life have escalated. Caller ID helps. Emails and texts help mitigate long conversations. However, those frustrating interruptions to our day still may not be alleviated.
I suppose our frustrations stem from someone robbing us of time. Because time is a precious gift given by our Heavenly Father. We’re born with a certain number of days and hours (Job 14:5). It is good to remember that, but to not be fearful or possessive about it.
Scripturally, we can surmise that our priority is to spend time with our Creator Father, then our spouse and children. From there, extended family, congregation, friends, and community.
Keeping our promises and commitments means managing our time wisely. Being flexible for the occasional surprises and GOD-interruptions is also important.
However, it’s when those recurring interruptions gobble our time that we need to reassess. Are there recurring perpetrators? Have our boundaries been breached? Do we have boundaries?
Perhaps that’s where to begin. Establishing boundaries.
Our family has a few “rules” like, no unscheduled social calls after 5:00 pm. You would be amazed at how much territory this covers. Should someone call after that time and it’s important, of course we’ll take the call.
If we’ve been the “victim” of a time-user, then we should be especially sensitive to not be one ourselves.
What About Us?
Ah, but today’s proverb is about us not being a wearisome–loathsome–time-sucker. Here’s where we need to take a hard look at ourselves—with the Holy Spirit.
The following 4 tips I keep in mind for myself so I don’t become a time-sucker:
- Schedule visits/calls. Generally, I text someone to schedule a convenient time and length for the other person.
- Ask if visit/call is convenient. For those unscheduled times, I pay special attention to how the person responds. If there’s hesitation or their body language indicates they’re only being polite, I’ll schedule a more convenient time. If it’s an emergency — and it better be — I’ll let them know.
- Be sensitive. Pay attention to unexpected disruptions during the conversation. Be the gracious one to give them the option to end the conversation and reschedule.
- Don’t stay too long. Whether scheduled or impromptu, even if the conversation is riveting, be sensitive to the needs of their family. When it’s time to go, then go.
The late musician Bobby Womack said: “Leave them wanting more and you know they’ll call you back.” I like that.
Understanding that time is precious is important. Spending time with the LORD, family, and friends makes our life rich and worthwhile. Being good stewards of that time — spending it wisely — is a good thing. Yes?
May we be good stewards of time — ours and others, my friends.
How do you handle someone who doesn’t respect boundaries?
Thanks for allowing me to step inside your boundaries. As always, your comments and insights mean a lot to me and our community. And I truly appreciate the shares. Thanks again and God bless.
