Loved ones, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 1 John 4:11, TLV
4 Ways to Love the Unlovable. God loves us, right? Since God loves us, it should be easy to love one another. Sigh. Unfortunately, sometimes it feels downright impossible — even if we want to be obedient. Why? Perhaps we are missing a step or two.
John’s epistle gives us some insight into the why God loves us, which might help us with how to love those difficult folks.
This is love—not that we have loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atonement for our sins. (vs. 10, TLV)
Ahh! Why should we love when others don’t return the favor? Because our Heavenly Father did the same for us. Our redemption and atonement began with His love — not ours. 
So, that stands to reason that our loving those before they love us may also result in their redemption and atonement or reconciliation and restoration.
Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. (Colossians 4:5, TLV)
How do we begin? Here are 4 Ways to [begin to] Love the Unlovable:
- Forgive. Think of someone you struggle with — why is it a challenge to remain civil with them, especially when they speak or exhibit hurtful behavior? Make sure you have forgiven them.
- Pray Blessings. Next, in our quiet time (when we’re not around them), ask our Father to show us how to pray for that person — what will bless this person?
- Don’t Take the Bait. Start simple: when they are rude or hurtful, don’t respond the same way. If we must, walk away — just don’t engage in the negativity. Make sure to forgive them.
- Listen to the Holy Spirit. Over time in the silence of our not thinking of rude or hurtful responses or defending ourselves, we will hear from the Holy Spirit how we might respond in a loving manner. Discernment will grow. The Holy Spirit can illuminate the root of the remarks — the pain. As the saying goes, “People who hurt, are people who were hurt.” This is the place where love grows — where we touch the Father’s heart.
Are there times when we must walk away from our attempts to love? Yes. There are those rare times when it involves our safety — and more importantly the safety of our family. It doesn’t mean we neglect forgiveness or the conscious effort to love from afar.
Guard your heart diligently, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23, TLV)
Let the word of Messiah dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another with all wisdom in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with gratitude in your hearts to God. (Colossians 3:16, TLV)
Like forgiveness, love comes in stages, but to forgive or love means we take the first step: willingness to be obedient. Because, in the end, it honors our Father and His Son and their love for us all.
