Through patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue can break a bone. Proverbs 25:15, TLV
7 Ways to Avoid Manipulators. Have you ever had a child wear you down until you give into their demands? Grumpy children left on their own, their behavior can develop into a lifetime of manipulation — and many are unaware they’re doing it. The adult version of this is what I call a strategic manipulator.
There are two types of manipulators: those souls who don’t realize they’re manipulating others and those who may or may not realize they are manipulating, but they do so for their own purposes.
Unfortunately, those who manipulate for their own purposes can become the pawns of evil. They strategically insinuate themselves into the lives of people who serve God and are serving Him well. With patience and deception, they weave disunity, insecurity, and lies into the fabric of God’s people and their efforts.
How Do We Discern This Type of Manipulation?
- By His Word: By keeping our hearts and minds focused on our Heavenly Father and His word, we can spot counterfeit teaching.
- Signs To Wrong Path: Evil has signs that point us to paths away from God’s truth. Watch for those signs. Know God’s truth.
- Division: Anyone who divides us from our family and loved ones is not working on behalf of the Lord. Whether this is a strategic manipulator or not, be wary of anyone who comes between us and family.
- Prayerful About Weird Feelings: Be prayerful about “feelings” that something isn’t quite right about a person and/or what they say or do. This could be the Holy Spirit guiding you and warning you.
- Decisions are Difficult to Make on our Own: We notice decisions are made for us — we aren’t encouraged to seek the Lord on our own.
- Watch for Fruit: Jesus followers produce good fruit. If that strategic manipulator has no tangible fruit, then something is wrong. Or the fruit is “mixed.” Sometimes there is good fruit, other times the rotten fruit overshadows the good.
- Watch for what is Produced Around You: Yeshua spoke of the parable of the wheat and weeds (tares) in Matthew 13. Weeds do not produce fruit—they only produce seeds for more weeds. If dissension follows this person, take note.
Over the years, I’ve run into several strategic manipulators.
It’s sad. Especially when they affected my relationships with family and loved ones.
As yet, I haven’t met one willing to repent and to be accountable so they can change. But that doesn’t mean they can’t, right? There’s always hope — that’s why forgiveness and prayers are so important.
Nevertheless, we may need to distance ourselves from them. Most definitely, they should not be in our inner circle of fellowship until there is change.
When we seek to operate in wisdom and discernment, eventually the Holy Spirit will help us spot these souls. And that is a good thing.
Think More About It
Have you run into manipulators? How has that affected your faith journey?
Until tomorrow, may we be discerning and prayerful about the manipulators in our lives, my friends.
I will turn my ear to a proverb.
I will utter my riddle on the harp:
Why should I fear in evil days?
when the iniquity of my deceivers surrounds me? Psalm 49:5-6, TLV
There is so much deceptive rhetoric out there, isn’t there? Confusing to some—which makes manipulation possible. But there is a place where clarity can be found. God’s word. Today, let’s agree together to pray for truth and clarity to reign in the midst of lies and deception. Amen? God bless you!
