Rejoice in the Lord always—again I will say, rejoice! Philippians 4:4, TLV
Anniversary Gratitude. Today marks the 49th year of my marriage to the love of my life, Bob. I remember walking toward my beloved on the arm of my father, with joy, nervousness, hope, and anticipation.
We were so young—both twenty—with such naivety. The fresh beginnings of a new life, new career, new apartment, and really getting to know one another were before us.
As we stood before Pastor Hutchinson, and recited our vows, I wish I had paid more attention. Been more in the now of the moment. We were so nervous. Bob couldn’t look at me without laughing—I’m choosing to chalk that up to nervousness—and my knees were nearly audible with knocking.
But the words we spoke to each other and to God in the company of crowd of witnesses, carried power and commitment. Did we do things perfectly? Oh my, no. We made too many mistakes to count. 
There were years when we wondered if our marriage would survive, but somehow God dragged us forward to prove that He could help us through even the most difficult of challenges. For that, we are so grateful.
I sometimes wonder, the first thing Bob and I did once the pastor pronounced us husband and wife, was rejoice—did that go into the foundation of our marriage? Today’s verse was the song we sang as we went down the aisle together. Rather than the pomp and celebratory music from the church’s pipe organ, it was the simple: Rejoice in the Lo-ord all-ways, and again I say rejoice. Over and over again until the last person exited.
Maybe that had a role in the establishment of the marriage of Robert and Terri Gillespie, I like to think so.
“Secrets” to a Good Marriage
People have asked what our “secrets” are to a good marriage. Faith, intimacy—physical and spiritual—and these “secrets” that were hard learned:
- Don’t take yourselves so seriously—laugh. A lot.
- It’s not about being right, it’s about listening and finding a place that is safe for both of you. Compromise is not a bad word—especially once both sides are expressed. No one wins in a battle.
- Bob was the one who made me laugh for many years. When I learned I could make him laugh, sometimes to the point of tears and a sore stomach, it was a breakthrough of pure delight in our marriage.
- Watch the video, The Tale of Two Brains—Men’s Brain, Women’s Brain (portion of video below). That was a gamechanger for us. The wisdom is powerful, and it’s done in a humorous way. Yes, you’ll laugh a lot.
- Take time for each other.
- Have mentors.
- Pray together.
- Take road trips with just the two of you. A few hours in a vehicle opens the doors to new discoveries about each other. [Caution: refrain from these discussions when there is heavy traffic or complicated navigation.]
- Have at least one trusted friend—of the same sex—with whom you can go to with difficulties, but who won’t allow you to go too far. Oh, also, this person should care for and respect your spouse so that they can give a fresh perspective without cutting down your mate.
Those are a few of the life lessons we’ve learned over the years. I hope they’re helpful.
More than anything, I’m so grateful to God for bringing Bob into my life. 
And giving us these years. How ever many are before us, I am thankful for each day. I rejoice in the Lord!
Happy anniversary, my love.
Tail of Two Brains by Mark Gungor. Video clip:
https://youtu.be/29JPnJSmDs0?si=CmgMkrBMielxuT1B
