The wise in heart accept commands, but a babbling fool comes to ruin. Proverbs 10:8, TLV
Another Paco Story. Ever own a “yappy” dog? Our daughter had a chihuahua, Paco. He was definitely a yapper. As annoying as the barking was, the little guy did provide a lot of object lessons (What Does Pride Look Like and Pride Like Paco). When I think of today’s proverb about babbling fools, I’m reminded of those yappy creatures. And, truth be told, I’m a lot like them.
It’s a bit painful to remember my foray into the world of babbling fools—especially since I still struggle from time to time. But, if it helps anyone out there, I’m willing to come clean.
Who is a babbling fool? It’s someone who utters sounds or words imperfectly, indistinctly, or without meaning. Or someone who talks idly, irrationally, excessively, or who foolishly chatters or prattles.
I was the one who talked irrationally and excessively.
The Why
Before I could address my problem, I had to address the why. It turns out it was a combination of pride and insecurity — which, personally, I believe can be interchangeable. I also struggle with ADD (or ADHD, whatever they’re calling it these days) which can make it difficult to stay on task, or on topic.
The way the babbling would manifest was when people tried to correct or teach me. Rather than quietly paying attention, the few words that got through my thick brain reminded me of something I thought I knew about. At that point I was chasing butterflies. And, of course, I had to prattle on about it.
The insecurity rose up when I felt I had to defend myself — then the babbling really commenced. When the pride rose up, and I felt I was more capable or knew better than others, I wouldn’t give folks the chance to say otherwise.
The Work
It took a lot of uncomfortable years before I figured out why I could alienate people within a few minutes of speaking with them. I began paying attention to the physical tells in others — stepping back, losing eye contact, exasperated sighing, etc. Then, I learned how to shut my mouth and bite my tongue. And the biggie, learned how to listen.
Listening, worth the wait . . .
Listening is such an underrated talent. Being a good listener is not just about letting someone talk. It’s absorbing what the person says, perhaps even questioning them to take the conversation deeper. Before I can give my point of view I should understand, right?
When Paco felt he needed to defend himself or us, he yapped until we intervened in some way. As he got older, it was easier to control him, but he never stopped completely, because he didn’t fully understand his behavior.
It’s also worth noting that simply accepting commands or teaching without fully listening and understanding is almost as bad as babbling. Our silence may appear to the other person that we get it, but in reality, we either haven’t or we don’t care.
Has that ever happened to you? We think our child has comprehended the lecture or reprimand, but he/she has tuned us out. At least a babbler clues us in that they haven’t.
By being fully engaged and in the moment, we will go a long way in being wise. The babbling can be minimized and, hopefully, stopped. And that’s a great place to be.
Think More About It
Do you know a babbler? Do/did you struggle with babbling? How did you overcome it?
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