A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1, TLV

Are We the Gentle Answer?     This verse is arguably one of the most recognized of all the proverbs. Which is why we might not give it the attention we could. Sometimes those old tried and true sayings are not given their proper due.

I wondered, do we always know when we speak a harsh word? Harsh is defined as unpleasantly rough or jarring to the senses. Are our answers or words to others rough or jarring?

Good Intentions

We can have the best intentions to help others with our words of wisdom, exhortation, advice, or even encouragement, but if our delivery is harsh, we can miss out on the opportunity to connect with the other person. Connection is so important in communication. When we approach our words with gentleness and a humble heart, those words have a chance to land softly, but land purposefully.

Discernment

How do we know if our delivery is missing the mark? If we have an ounce of discernment, we’ll know if we’ve angered or offended or hurt someone. If we think we have done this, then most likely we did. If we sense it, then ask the person. If we have, apologize and try to communicate in a gentler way.

If it’s obvious they are offended or angry but won’t admit it and give us a chance to rephrase, it might be best to try another time. Which brings up an important point, if ever we’re the one offended or angry, admit it then work to resolve it with the other person, as soon as possible.

The tone or style of communication we use can be effective for one person, but might be too much for someone else. We are responsible for our own willingness to be a positive influence or a negative one. It’s our choice.

Too Harshly

There’s another aspect of speaking too harshly we want to be cautious of: we can cause someone to stumble. Well-meaning friends have advised me forcefully but I discerned no sense of humility. My situation seemed trite to them and their matter-of-fact comments crushed me. I know I have done the same to others and I am ashamed and deeply sorry.

“…And whoever welcomes one such child in My name, welcomes Me. But whoever causes one of these little ones who trust in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck and to be sunk in the depth of the sea!” Matthew 18:5-6, TLV

We can be the gentle answer that makes a difference in someone’s life. We can support an environment of love and hope for change without compromising the truth. We can do these things so that what we say is as important as how we say it.

Think More About It

Do we strive to be the gentle answer when possible? How does that look for you?

Until tomorrow, may we be the gentle answer, my friends.

He trains my hands for battle,
so my arms can bend a bronze bow.
You gave me the shield of Your salvation.
Your right hand upholds me,
Your gentleness makes me great.
You broaden my steps beneath me,
so my ankles have not slipped. Psalm 18:35-37, TLV

I love this passage. The imagery is striking. Equating preparedness for battle as important as God’s gentleness. How about we pray this for Israel, our brothers and sisters in Messiah, and for ourselves? Amen? God bless you!