A gossip reveals secrets, but one who is trustworthy conceals a matter. Proverbs 11:13, TLV

Are You Trustworthy?   Most people would probably call themselves trustworthy. At least we want to be. We all know gossiping is wrong — a sin* — but what if we think sharing a secret is necessary. That breaking a solemn trust might do less harm than keeping the trust.

A while back we talked about possible circumstances where lying is necessary. The discussion was great — I sure learned a lot. If I could summarize our conclusion: while a lie may be necessary — to save a life, to prevent injury — we don’t have permission to lie. In other words, there’s nowhere in Scriptures that says, “You know that ‘Thou shalt not bear false witness’? Well, there are exceptions . . .”

We have to call a lie, a lie. When we break a trust — even for a good reason — we have to call it a break of trust.

Whatever the reason, know that it comes at a great cost. Not only with the person who trusted us, but with others. For at least a season, we may have to earn the person’s trust again. Our “yes” may no longer be trusted as a “yes” or “no” a “no” — at least for now.

Making the decision to break a trust — or lie — must be a prayerful decision. I mean, our credibility is on the line. Once we decide to reveal the information, the next decision is to whom. Including another in the decision to break trust should not be done lightly. The person we bring into this circle must either be directly involved/affected by the information OR can help the situation with the parties involved.

And, by the way, getting others to pray about the situation is not reason enough to break trust. Breaking a confidence to gather “prayer warriors” is divisive — even when we don’t reveal the names of the parties involved.

If we carry a burden someone entrusted to us and we now feel uncomfortable that there is active sin involved, then pray. Wait for our heavenly Father’s release as to if/when and to whom this should be revealed. Even then, just know there may be repercussions for us.

Before we accept the responsibility . . .

Proactively, when someone comes to us and “swears” us to keep a secret, be cautious. Having suffered through a lot of experiences over the years, I will not agree up front to keep a confidence if it involves active infidelity, abuse, or immoral and unethical activity. Because otherwise, I inform them that before they include me in this secret, I give a deadline for the person to do the right thing before I take action.

It takes wisdom, discernment, knowledge, and understanding to help carry the burden of another’s secret. Before we receive or share another’s secret, ask the Fount of all Wisdom for direction. That’s always a good place to begin.

May we be trustworthy, even when we say no, my friends.

Shabbat Shalom!

*It’s a form of bearing false witness (Exodus 20:16).