Do not forsake your friend, or your father’s friend, nor go to your brother’s house in the day of your disaster—better a neighbor nearby than a brother far off. Proverbs 27:10, TLV

Coffee? Soup? Casserole?      Shabbat Shalom!     I had always thought that the Baby Boomer Generation — of which I’m a part of — were the ones who left the hometowns and moved away from families. Although, many of my generation did, these days only 20% of adult children live further away than 2 hours from their mothers.

So, what about those 20%? My husband and I live currently live between 5-6 hours from our families. However, we’ve been blessed in the last year to welcome our daughter, son-in-love, and grandson into our home.

Of our 52 years of marriage, only seven or eight years were spent living close to my parents and siblings.

Trying to build “family,” friends, and community away from our hometown has always been a challenge, especially because in those 52 years, we’ve moved 25 times, and lived in eight states.

But the places we’ve lived where we have made the effort has produced sweet blessings.

Friends who become like family don’t replace family, but they’re precious and worth cultivating.

What does that cultivation look like?

For Bob and me — as introverts — we’ve had to work very hard. Our tendency is to be homebodies, and we simply love spending time together alone. These are activities that helped us:

• Pray for Kesher — Hebrew for Connection. קשר is about connection, but it also means a knot and linkage. Having the Father show us who He wants us to be linked or yoked with is so important.
• Become a member of a house of faith. This may seem like a no-brainer, but many people attend services, yet haven’t made the commitment to become a member. There’s something about that commitment that creates a sense of belonging, and accountability. So important for healthy relationships.
• Make eye contact — Connect with people. The simple acts of making eye contact and saying hello and introducing ourselves can pave the way to friendships.
• Join. Whether Bible studies, fellowship groups, book clubs, walking groups, or just inviting someone for a cup of coffee. Joining helps us step outside ourselves — literally — and connect.
• Get to know your neighbors. A plate of cookies, a get-well card, picking up trash others may have thrown, are great introductions to the people who are closest to us in proximity.
• Find easy and tasty casserole and soup recipes. Bringing over meals to families who may be dealing with a death, or a new baby, or they’re under the weather, or just because, is another great way to build community and relationships. Anytime I make a large pot of soup, I’ll store the extra in mason jars and freeze for such occasions.

A little over a year ago, we moved again. Being in our 70s, it’s tougher starting all over again, but it’s been worth it. We’re a bit slower getting to know our neighbors. Or being part of a new congregation. Inviting people for meals. Making soups and casseroles. Movie nights. All these things help to create a link to others that build us and those around us.

It’s so easy to isolate. Bob and I still have to push ourselves, but the time and effort truly make life easier, fuller. So it is true, a neighbor nearby is better than a brother or sister far off.

Shabbat Shalom and may we cultivate those relationships around us, my friends.

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