A lying tongue hates those crushed by it, and a flattering mouth causes ruin. Proverbs 26:28, TLV
Flattery vs. Affirmation. As someone who hungered for affirmation, I didn’t understand how flattery was the opposite of affirmation. And that flattery could cause ruin. A person who gushed with nice sentiments about me seemed like a nice thing. It felt good — until the first time a flatterer showed their true colors.
There are around 13 passages that deal with the negative aspects of flattery. However, I couldn’t find any positive ones. Flattery is sugarcoated manipulation. It has nothing to do with the soul they flatter, and all about edifying themselves or strategically positioning themselves to gain the upper hand.
Even if part of the flattery is accurate, it is deceptive. It is about control. When you think about it, the liar has similar motives. And we know how our Heavenly Father feels about lying.
But how do we know?
One of my favorite analogies comes from the Department of Treasury. 
At any given time, there are an estimated $147 million of counterfeited US dollars being circulated around the world. Agents are trained to find these counterfeit bills, not by studying the methods of the counterfeiter, but by studying the real bills. They can identify the false ones by knowing the true ones.
That’s how we’ll know — by studying the truth we’ll be able to spot the lies. Studying the truth means keeping our minds on it. Our greatest resource is GOD’s word. Just to be clear, I mean the Bible.
The Political Scene
As the political climate continues to heat up, we’re going to hear a lot of flattery and smooth talk. A lot of outright lies, too.
For such people do not serve our Lord the Messiah, but only their own belly. By their smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting. (Romans 16:18, TLV [EMPHASIS MINE])
The same applies to discerning the truth in anything. Because when we know it well, lies, flattery, and smooth talk will ring false.
Be wary of the flatterer. Watch the eyes. Their sincerity seldom reaches the eyes. Their compliments generally have a noose of exaggeration. It will go on much longer than necessary.
Affirmation is a good thing. Thanks for a job well done should be our normal response to someone who, well, does a good job. Respect can be verbalized in an edifying way without embellishment. It’s a good thing. Worth doing well, so let’s do it.
May our affirmation be true, my friends.
