The intent of a man’s heart is deep water, but a man of insight draws it out. Proverbs 20:5, TLV
What If We Were Real? Our intent — our motivation — is a very private, intimate trait of our character. For many of us, we guard it carefully. It’s sealed up with barbed wire around it so no one can take a peak. Why?
I don’t know about you, but there are times when I might be wearing a smile, but I’m seething inside. At those times I feel like a coward for not being truthful with what I’m feeling. Other times I am ashamed that I lost my temper. Meanwhile, all people see is my smile. But look at my eyes. They generally tell the real story.
For some, their intent is so deep, they don’t even know what they truly feel. It’s weighed heavily by circumstances from their past — traumas they haven’t dealt with. Their behaviors are based either on what they believe others want from them, or their feelings are so raw and undefined their behavior is erratic. Their pain cries out for the Father’s healing.
For these reasons and more, to make assumptions about someone’s intent can be dangerous. Sometimes, the Holy Spirit will give us insight — discernment. But this is meant to serve a purpose, not just so we can say we know why someone did what they did. Or, accusing someone who offended us that their objective was to intentionally harm us.
Likewise, someone who behaves admirably may hide a wicked intent. The Holy Spirit may warn us that something “isn’t right.” Don’t ignore these warnings. Seek Him. He may actually tell us to step away from this relationship so that the LORD can deal with them.
Insight and discernment can alert us to the disconnect between behavior and motivation—what is truly in their heart. Wisdom, knowledge, and understanding can aid us in getting to the bottom of it — if we’ve been called to minister in that way.
What about us?
A number of years ago, the buzz phrase for believers was “being transparent.” Perhaps we should bring that concept back. Being transparent means what you see is what you get. People don’t have to question our intent or motivation. What we show on the outside is what we are on the inside. There’s no need to draw out, dig deep, and riddle it out of us.
How liberating that would be. If we’re in a bad mood, we can just admit it and work on resolving why. Admitting we’re sad and are having difficulties means we may look sad. If we can’t deal with it together with the LORD and need help from prayer partners, concealing it makes it more difficult to be free.
Hiding jealousy, greed, selfishness and the like means it has an opportunity to burrow deeper into our heart. However, if we’re real, the uglies will show and we will most likely want to deal with it much sooner.
We keep tryin to make it look so nice
And we keep hidin’ what’s goin on inside.
But what if I share my brokenness?
What if you share how you feel?
And what if we weren’t afraid of this crazy mess?
What if we were real? Mandisa, What If We Were Real, from What If We Were Real album, 2011
Whatever our situation, the LORD’s wisdom and discernment goes a long way in helping us walk through difficulties with those deep heart issues. He’s not afraid or intimidated by our crazy mess. Our goal should be part of the solution, not hide the problem. And the greatest problem solver is our Father.
DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH HIDING YOUR “TRUE” FEELINGS UNDER THE SUNDAY OR SATURDAY SMILE? Seek out our Father. He’s not afraid of our mess.
