Do not eat the food of a stingy person, or desire his delicacies. For as he thinks within himself, so is he. “Eat and drink”, he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the morsel you ate, and will waste your pleasant words. Proverbs 23:6-8, TLV
Who We Share a Meal with is Important? Oh my. This proverb is a bit graphic — and gross. The writer of this chapter of Proverbs really “goes there” when it comes to the less than delicate subject matter.
If we want to distill this one down to one word, I offer to the table, discernment. Our Heavenly Father’s encouragement to us to work those discernment muscles is not just for making decisions about our children or business opportunities or life. There are very real ramifications for us to be careful with whom we socialize, especially when it’s in their home.
My husband and I have experienced this on more than one occasion. We were invited to dinner and showed up on time, helped set the table and sat where asked to sit. Our hosts smiled, but we couldn’t shake the feeling that before we arrived unkind words were spoken about us. That our even being there was an imposition. Even though we were invited to their home, we didn’t feel welcome. It was like an invisible fog in the air. Nothing overt, but we left feeling drained and with a rumbly tummy.
What Happens When the Meal is with our Family?
If we discern that someone doesn’t have the best intentions when inviting us to their home, God can use that intel for good.
- Begin by praying for wisdom as to whether we should accept the invitation.
- If not, respond quickly and graciously.
- Should He encourage us to go, then come prayerfully prepared.
- Offer to bring something.
- Approach with quiet joy and peace.
- Curb the enthusiasm with wisdom.
- Be helpful when it is received, but respectful when they want their space.
- If the opportunity arises to gracefully and respectfully ask if we have offended them in any way, take it. Be prepared to listen with love and pray for wisdom.
- When there is no opportunity and we leave feeling worse than we came, consider that additional insights for prayer.
- Sometimes our Father wants us to provide the opportunity for reconciliation, or for us to move on. Pray.
When there are folks who have bad feelings toward us and
are unable or unwilling to discuss them, it’s generally best to not bring them into our home unless the Lord gives us clear instructions to do so. We may mean well, but we can expose ourselves and our family to unnecessary toxicity—especially if there are small children.
This proverb is difficult for me because I love to have people in my home. And I am the eternal optimist that if there is a problem, somehow, we’ll work through it. But, as this proverb so graphically points out, there are those times when we shouldn’t — and by doing so we’re disobeying God Himself. And that’s the last thing we want to do, right?
Think More About It
Have you encountered this? How did you handle it?
Until tomorrow, may we be wise and dine with discernment, my friends.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You have anointed my head with oil, my cup overflows. Psalm 23:5, TLV
As Jewish families around the world prepare for Shabbat, those in Israel may feel that indeed their table is spread before enemies. Let’s pray today that all would be blessed with that peace anointing that surpasses all understanding. Please continue to pray for protection, my friends. God bless you and Shabbat Shalom!
