Today’s Blog: 6 Things to Remember in an Argument
TODAY’S PROVERB: A king’s fury is like messengers of death, but a wise man will appease it. Proverbs 16:14, TLV
Let’s face it, sometimes people get angry with us. Our boss, our parents, strangers, friends, spouse . . . It’s never fun. I do have friends that enjoy a good heated argument. Not me. Still, it’s surprising how often I find myself in that situation.
In today’s proverb, the person who is angry is a king — the ultimate authority of a country or region. Although this circumstance will probably never happen to us, it still prompts us to think about scenarios where we are confronted and must respond, especially if it’s someone who is in authority.
If you’re like me, we’re not comfortable being around angry people, period, much less someone who is angry with us over something they think we’ve done. So, I’m hoping these helpful hints will benefit you as well.
Six Things to Remember When Someone is Angry at You:
- BE SAFE. Okay, I did preface this by saying we have to deal with the confrontation, but there are occasions where we may feel physically threatened. If this is the case, especially if you are alone with the person, back away and find a secure place with an exit. If necessary, call 911.
- REMEMBER TO BREATHE (Matthew 5:9). When someone exhibits anger toward us, our bodies can switch to the “fight-or-flight” mode. Fighters will want to fight, and flyers will want to fly. Neither will be effective in mitigating a resolution. By breathing purposefully, our heart rate decreases and our brain will receive more oxygen. Which is good, because we’re going to need our brain.
- MONITOR EMOTIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE (Proverbs 12:16; 29:11). If we can remain calm, yet engaged and with an attentive posture, we can create an environment for mature discussion. If possible invite the other person to sit down with you. Or, stand at least 3 feet (or 6 feet, if social distancing) from the other person, with shoulders back–no slumping.
- DON’T BUILD SIDES — CREATE A SAFE ZONE (Matthew 18:15). If the argument breaks out in front of others, take it to a quiet place away from others. If the offended/angry person does not agree to this, inform them politely that you will not continue the discussion with an audience. Know that if this is a boss, you may have to deal with their negative response to this.
- LISTEN (James 1:19). Truly listen to what the other person is trying to say — not necessarily the words. Remember that an angry person will try to make the argument hurtful and personal. Try not to take it personally. This will be difficult, but if we truly listen and not occupy our mind with trying to defend ourselves, it’s possible we may find a solution. And, we may discover that we were indeed wrong.
- CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT FOR APOLOGIES (Matthew 18:22). If we’re wrong, own up to the mistake and apologize. Try to make amends in an agreeable fashion for both parties. Sometimes the situation arose from a misunderstanding. Be gracious and allow them time to process. Hopefully, they will apologize, But even if they don’t, we need to forgive them.
Disagreements, yet unified . . .
In the best case scenario, everyone walks away unscathed and the better for the experience. I love those times.
So, I leave us with this: “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
for brothers to dwell together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1) Amen and amen!
May we dwell together in unity — even when we don’t agree, my friends.
Proverbs 16:14, Tree of Life Version – TLV #tlvbible #tlvproverbs
